
Separation anxiety is a pretty common term, along the same line as separation-related behaviours. Some folks want to make it into a diagnosis, but I don’t think that makes any real dent on the problem from the dog’s point of view.
A dog with some level of separation anxiety is stressed when you or others in your household leave him alone, either at home or at a boarding facility. This might show up as barking, waiting by the door, pacing, toileting in the house, chewing or digging by entryways, destroying furniture, or demolishing their crate.
Most folks will say that problem behaviours only show up when the dog is left alone, but in my experience that’s simply not true. I’ve yet to see a case of separation anxiety where there aren’t some other things going on when the owners are at home, the most common being a “cuddly” and "clingy" dog who shadows the owner around the house.
Separation anxiety is a particularly pesky problem for those who have a dog with it. Damage, self-injury, being held hostage by Fido.
And the worst part, traditional “dog training” doesn’t offer much in terms of a solution. How can it? How could treats or aversives possibly help us out in this scenario, when we aren’t even home?
The prevailing view of separation anxiety is that the dog is anxious about us leaving the house (because “we are SO bonded that he can’t live without me, his momma”). In fact, that’s not really what’s going on. Separation anxiety is actually kind of the opposite. It’s more so where your dog sees you as his puppy and he’s worried about YOU, not himself! (Plus being bonded means being secure with and without each other…the opposite of separation anxiety.)
Given this more accurate way of interpreting separation anxiety through the dog’s eyes, it is simple to help. Simple, not necessarily easy.
Do you know what IS easy though? Causing separation anxiety! (Now, not all dogs are pre-disposed to separation anxiety, but for those who are, this is a sure-fire way to make it happen!)
Step 1: Make a big fuss when you leave the house. Cuddle the dog, love on him, hug him, cry a little right before you leave the house every day. To really make this step shine, you’ve got to feel bad leaving him alone. Feelings of guilt and anxiety are all-stars in causing separation anxiety.
Step 2: Leave a massive bone, a stuffed kong, or a full food bowl for your dog when you leave. Nothing says, “I want you to stress out about me leaving!” like leaving your dog in charge of food in the house.
Step 3: Make a huge fuss when you return home. As soon as you come in the door, throw yourself upon the floor to hug, cuddle, and generally be assaulted by your dog’s over-enthusiasm. Assume this is because your dog loves you and missed you and because you are the centre of his world and he needs you like a fish needs water. Get real co-dependent here.
Step 4: Pet your dog. All. The. Time. Pet him when you sit on the couch and he comes and sits on you. Pet him when he follows you into the bathroom. Give him a little pat every chance you get. Do this assuming that you are so bonded that he cannot bear to be in a different room than you. Pet him and cuddle him whenever he asks for it because you want him to feel so loved and attached to you.
There it is! My 4 Easy Steps to give your dog the gift that keeps giving: separation anxiety!
Joking aside, separation anxiety is terribly taxing on a dog and on the relationship. It’s really no fun for anyone involved.
Like I mentioned earlier, it’s important that you get clear on what separation anxiety really is: an insecure attachment (according to human attachment theory), where your dog feels responsible for you and your safety, such that when you leave the house, he would do anything to try to keep you safe…even dig through a wall in some cases.
If you’re struggling with separation anxiety, or if you’re seeing the first signs of it, it’s not too late. There is hope. Contact me and we can get you and your dog’s relationship on the right track.
Here’s to you and your dog!
Elaine (and Milo!)

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