
Once upon a time, some people wanted to understand dogs. So they looked to the ones who weren’t yet all scrambled up from human contact: wolves.
These well-meaning folks captured a bunch of wolves who didn’t know each other and confined them in an area.
Then they watched.
The wolves fought. They exerted their dominance on each other. They bit each other, pinned one another to the ground, grabbed each other by the throat with their teeth. They used force and aggression to communicate, get their way, and survive. The ones who fought hardest won their positions as “Alpha dog”. The others rolled onto their backs, exposing their bellies, tucked their tails, and gave up their food, all in obedience to the alphas. Any misdemeanour was brutally disciplined by the alphas.
“Right-o,” thought the people, “A bit harsh, but if that’s how canines get other canines to follow them, then I guess that’s what we have to do to get our dogs to follow us!”
So off they went. They went home to Fluffy, Sparky, and Fido, and they bit their ears, laid on them, and grabbed them by the throats. And they taught all the other dog owners to do the same. The goal was to become the alpha dog. The dog that all other dogs listened to and obeyed.
Technically, it worked. Usually. Act like a psycho and your dog will be afraid enough to listen. Mission: accomplished.
Good luck with the whole trust thing, but maybe save that for another day.
Anyway. One day, a number of years later a guy was biting his dog’s ear, exerting his dominance, and he thought, “Wait. This is crazy. It all feels a bit much.”
So he went off to understand dogs a bit more. Again, he looked to the ones who weren’t yet all scrambled up by humans. The wolves.
This time, he didn’t bring the wolves to him, he went to the wolves. He observed them in their natural environment in their family groups. And he saw something different than before.
He was very excited about his discoveries so he went back to the humans and started out like this:
“A-hem. Excuse me ladies and gentlemen who lay on your dogs and bite their ears. You can stop doing that because that isn’t really what wolves do. You see, instead of all that dominance, alpha stuff, leaders get the other dogs to follow them by —”
“Ah-ha!” the rest of the dog owners exclaimed! They didn’t like laying on their dogs, biting their ears, and forcing fear into them. So without letting the man finish what he was saying, they began shouting, “Alpha is debunked! Alpha is debunked!”
Off the dog owners went. The did indeed treat their dogs differently. They spoiled their dogs. They invited them to sleep in their beds. They gave them better food, massages, and spa days. They gave their dogs treats just for being cute.
The dogs started getting a bit stir crazy. They weren’t used to this kind of coddling. So the humans noticed more behavioural problems. Barking, aggression, pulling, jumping, over-excitement, and so on.
“What is happening?” They asked. “We love our dogs so much, but they still don’t listen to us!”
Shock collars, head halters, special harnesses, etc were invented. Also invented were new dog diagnoses such as dog anxiety, dog ADHD, and dog autism. Medications came along. So did other myths such as breed-dependent behavioural problems.
For years, the people yo-yoed between the aggressive approach, and the cuddle approach, peppering in some of the devices and diagnoses, desperate to make some difference in their dog’s behaviour.
Some, at wit’s end even turned to euthanasia and gave up.
Meanwhile, the man who studied the wolves in their natural habitat, was waving his arms and trying so hard to speak above the noise and chaos. “Guys! You didn’t let me finish! If you had just kept listening we wouldn’t be in this mess with our dogs. They wouldn’t be needing anti-anxiety medication, shock collars, or head halters. If you had just listened, this is what I was going to say:
Wolves in their natural environment are in family units. The dogs in charge are the parents of the rest of the pack. In other words, there are alpha dogs, whom all the other dogs listen to and obey, but they didn't get that position by laying on the others or biting them. They got that position because they are the parents; they had puppies. These lead dogs are fair, kind, and loving. But they are also firm, providing guidelines, boundaries, and consequences.
We humans can emulate them. We can convince our pet dogs to listen to us if we act like parent dogs. We can lovingly set boundaries. We can be fair and clear, kind and firm. We can recognize when our dogs are feeling anxious, fearful, or cocky, and we can act in ways that help them through.
It’s not about force and intimidation, but’s it’s also not all about cuddles. It’s about leadership, stepping up to be the parent figure for our dogs in this human world.”
One by one, the other dog owners started listening. What he was saying isn’t easy. It involves being calm when the dog is rowdy. It involves putting boundaries up when the dog is demanding attention. It involves putting the dog’s need for leadership above our own desires. It involves earning respect and trust rather than demanding or manipulating it. It turns out that being more like a wolf involves being a better human being.
Here's to You and Your Dog!
Elaine
Learning how to be your dog's parent figure isn't exactly common sense. You have to learn how to think like a dog...I can help. https://www.calmcanine.ca/services
I LOVE this! Your story put it in such a way that it makes so much sense. It explains what is really going wrong (and right!) with dogs and dog training. Thank you!